Yes, you guessed it, we are crime fighting prostars! It might be all those superhero movies we've been watching lately, or it might be that we are unequivocally badass. Then again, we are neglecting the hopelessly obvious possibility that we are, in fact, superheroes. Anyway, on to today's riveting story...
Imagine us grudgingly making our way down to the laundry room totally unaware of the fact that our previously mundane afternoon was soon to get a little more exciting! We make our way over to our washing machines and just outside the window, crouched down by the wall/fence thingy by the pool was a 35ish man hiding out like a 5 yr old playing hide and seek. "Hmmmm, interesting," I thought, "You've gotta feel totally comfortable with a middle aged man huddling in bushes right beside a pool where children are playing...oh, wait...NOOOO!". Allen and I exchange "WTF?" glances but say nothing since the window right beside the man was open. We contend with our laundry, all the while try to figure out what this guy's up to. He seems to be totally unconcerned by the fact that he's been caught doing whatever the hell he was doing and so we head back up to our apartment.
Once up on our 11th floor balcony, we noticed that he was still out there, in more or less the same spot, but was not watching the pool. Instead he seemed to be waiting for someone or something, crawling through the bushes in the most pathetic attempt at being incognito. So, in our brilliance, we grab our digital camera and make excellent use of the zoom feature to hone in on this guy (now mom, i bet you didn't forsee this use for the camera you gave me...but it works great!).
While Allen moonlights as a photographer & private I, I make my way down to our landlady's apartment to inform her of the situation. Of course, she isn't there.
Upon my arrival back to our apartment I'm informed that several pictures have been taken and that he seems to be actively making his way along the building.
Sure enough, I look down to see him crawling across the ground like he's in a war movie and all I can think is "Ummm, that doesn't hide you from the 4 apartments on this side of the building of EVERY floor!" Anyway, I grab the phone and call the non-emergency police #, which I've since programmed into our phone, 'cause you never have that damn # when you need it.
While Allen continues to photograph, I report this guy to the friendly policewoman on the other end of the phone. Since we were able to look right at him while giving a description, we gave one of a true champion, if I do say so myself. As I'm on the phone with the officer, dude keeps givener along the building until hopping over the cement wall and into the loading zone where a pickup truck is parked.
Gee, this doesn't look conspicuous does it? We conclude that he is seriously considering taking this truck, except that our alley is pretty busy and people often walk up and down it, thereby forcing him to take cover in some fashion. He peers in the windows and is crouched beside it for several minutes before moving on.
He jumps the cement wall on the other side of the loading area for some unknown reason, and continues his mission. Now, I have no idea what he was up to, but his reconnaissance skills leave much to be desired. I mean, if this was happening in the middle of the night, he would have been fine...but it's 2 pm buddy. What are you thinking? In any case, he continues whatever surveillance he was preoccupied with and at this point, every possibility has entered our minds, from him trying to steal the truck, to him planting a car bomb, to him being a stalker, to him wanting to jump someone, and none of these were particularly comforting.
Needless to say, we were relieved to see the cops pull up before he left the area. They did a very good job at sneaking up behind him and I was impressed that they had 4 officers to respond to the call. I mean, I realize that this is a big city and the police officers have very important things to tend to, but you never know what these wackos are thinking. I'll be damned if someone's going to stalk about outside my apartment building without having to provide an explanation to the proper authorities. As well, once they cuffed him and were taking stuff out of his pockets, we noticed even from all the way up on the 11th floor that one of the cops had removed a switch blade from his pocket.
We stood on our balcony, phone in hand and camera dangling from Allen's wrist in a truly victorious fashion while he got hauled off in the paddy wagon. I think we'll all sleep easy tonight knowing that he at least had to give a damn good reason for what he was up to and if we see him around here again, or if anything bad happens, at least the cops will have some idea of who might be behind it.
And that's all for this edition of Crime Stoppers: Team of Terror Edition.
Your favourite neighbourhood T. O. T. signing off....
Good night and good luck.
